peace

i do not typically write serious posts, i.e. posts that do not include pictures or updates on life events.  however, i shared this with lee today and we both thought it was worth sharing here.

every morning when brendan wakes up to eat, anywhere between 4 and 5:30, i get up and go to him when i hear him on the monitor.  during the night, there are always the occasional sighs or grunts in his sleep, but i know he needs me when they turn into a sort of cry.  i get up and go in his room, using my phone as a light.  lately, i have started holding it near my face so he can see me.  when he does, he is calm and eager to be held.  we spend the next little while together as he eats and then falls back asleep.

the moments between him falling asleep and me laying him back in his crib are some of the sweetest times of the day.  i love sitting there feeling his sweet little baby breath on my cheek.  i know this is one of those phases of his life that will not last forever so i cherish each morning like this.

last night, i started to think that sometimes our relationship with God can parallel this.  God desires for us to cry out to Him in our moments of distress, trouble, uncertainty.  however, i feel i fail at this more than i succeed.  all too often, i think i can handle it on my own.  my first reaction is not always to go to God before trying to figure it out myself.  God is waiting to bring us a peace that passes all understanding.  He is our greatest comfort and in His arms we can find those sweet, still moments of peace in life.  i pray that i can live life in a way that calling out to God in the hard times (and the good) is second nature.  the peace i can find in His arms is far better than anything i can attempt to create myself.